Bad Boys Face Off: Darcy vs. Darth

It's a fact that's been proven in movie after angsty teen movie: Nice guys finish last. Ladies love bad boys! So break out your hairspray, struggle into some leather pants, and see if you can get your dangly skull earring back into that piercing you let grow over when you graduated college. It's time for the dark side of DarcyWars.

Oh that's right. She done did it. This face-off is between Darcy and the masked man to end all masked men: Darth Vader.

As with all posts, I leave it to you, Gentle Reader, to judge. I present only closing arguments for each contender. This time in poem form!

The Reigning Champion (a haiku)

Willow tree in bloom
Irresistible Darcy
Break me off a piece

Darth Vader!

D is for dastardly, devilish, and dire.
A is for arson--he'll set you on fire!
R is for ruthless, a trait I find scrumps.
T is for drinking. I've got your two lumps. ;)
H is for hellish; I do like 'em bad.
Now for his last name, which I wish I had:
V is for voicebox; his gives me this shivers.
A is for arms, where enfolded I'd quiver.
D is for DUCK! Is he choking or squeezing? (With Vader, I'd guess either one would be pleasing.)
E is for ebon, in which he is dressed.
R is for ruv. Because I ruv him best.

What's the vote, people? Dark side or Darcy?

Ps: You can try to resist Darth Vader. But if you do, he will choke you. With his mind.